Remember those summer days when you played outside until long after the sun went down and came in smiling and worn out? After you mom made you wash and get into your summer pyjamas you flopped into bed and instantly fell asleep between crisp cotton sheets. You woke when the sun came in your window and hit the ground ready for another fun day.
 
That was then, you say, and this is now.
 
Stay with me for a moment. What happened along the way that robbed us of the delicious experience of a good night’s sleep? Our date books are crammed with commitments; we’re on call for everyone and the dog, and after another exhausting day, we fall into bed only to be wakened by snoring mates, full bladders, or the thought of tomorrow’s schedules.

We really need to re-learn the art of the wonderful sleep. For sleeps to be luscious and satisfying, we need to put aside the cares of the day early in the evening. If the cares of the day are so numerous that it is not possible to retire them early, then perhaps it is time to re-think how much we are trying to cram into our days.
 
Not long ago, I felt caught in the constant swirling cycle of too many things to do and not enough time to do them all. I stayed up too late, woke in the night and lay awake thinking about important every detail I must remember to circumvent some crisis. Eventually falling asleep just before dawn, I then spent my days like a flag at half-mast. I was neither awake nor asleep but dragged through my days too foggy to accomplish much at all. Anxiety and fluctuating hormones were ruining my life. Finally, I went to see my doctor. He prescribed a rather benign drug whose side-effect is that it makes you sleepy. I re-entered the world of the childlike sleep.

Once I began sleeping well again, I had the clarity required to see what needed to change to make my life simpler and less stressful. I realized that there are some things that I will not be able to do, that I must choose one main course in life and focus on it. My evenings have become quieter and calmer. I spend more time with my husband. And I look forward to going to bed, sliding between my pale yellow sheets and reading, or snuggling into my puffy pillow and drifting off.
 
Sleeping luxuriously means giving your whole self to the process.

• Go to bed early enough so that you have time to wind down before sleep.
• Dress your bed in soft linens that you love to touch and that caress your skin.
• Choose beautiful and comfortable nightclothes to sleep in.
• Make your bedtime routine a time to pamper yourself and find quiet.
• Keep the television, the pets, and the kids out of your bedroom.
• Eliminate noise and interruptions.
• If you read in bed, choose something soothing that lulls you into restfulness.

 
It may not seem easy to go back to those delicious sleeps of childhood, but it is possible to improve your sleep life. By endeavouring to make the experience a luscious one, you improve your chances of being well-slept.

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Most of what we think is a big deal is really no big deal. Holidays and family events are obvious reasons to celebrate, but can sometimes also be exhausting if you are trying to live up to traditional standards or other people’s ideas about how a celebration should happen. Instead, why not pick your own reasons and ways to celebrate?
 
Celebrate a perfect hair day by taking yourself out for iced coffee. The fact that your bathroom got cleaned is cause for celebration, especially if someone else did it.  How about celebrating a good night’s sleep? What about the first daffodil bloom in your garden or the first hummingbird at your feeder? Life is full of special and ordinary moments so why not just pick some and make them a celebration?

While you are at it, choose fun people with whom to celebrate. Choose to spend as much time as possible with people who make you laugh. It has been known for ages that laughter is good for you. The Bible says that a happy heart is as good as medicine. Plus it’s also a lot cheaper and far more fun than drugs and surgery!
 
Here are some ideas of how to celebrate and laugh:

• Get a new haircut and do it with your most fun friends.
• Spend a day at the beach with children if you have them in your life. If not, pay attention to how other people’s children have fun.
• Treat yourself to a pedicure and luxuriate in the pampering.
• Go to the library for a quiet afternoon and read all the magazines.
• Attend a comedy show or watch a funny movie. Allow yourself to belly laugh.
  

Simply adding more laughter and fun to your life can not only improve your life, but prolong it as well. Laughter is a spirit lifter and the best antidote for depression. It is also known to reduce stress, lower blood pressure, elevate mood, boost immune system, improve brain functioning, protect the heart, connect you to others, foster instant relaxation, make you feel good. There are so many reasons to laugh, it is really important to find more laughter in your life.
 
I know that it is not always easy to avoid people who get you down, but you can do things to offset their effect on you. By finding more reasons to laugh, you counteract the dampening affect of the negative influences with which you come into contact. Your light-hearted approach to life may even turn those grumpy folks into happier people, too.

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One day I sat down to make a list of some of the things that make my life feel rich and full. There were very few things on the list that I didn’t already have and appreciate. But one item on my list was to buy fresh flowers regularly. For me, buying flowers had fallen into the category of money frittered away since flowers soon die leaving nothing to show for the money spent.
 
So buying flowers and having them around my home is a sign to me of my prosperity and luscious living, a sign that I have enough money that I don’t have to concern myself with such a small expense. With that exercise, I realized how very little is often required to feel rich and prosperous. Very often the problem lies in not identifying what gives us that delightful sense of joy, because we can be too busy to look.

If you were to create your own list of delights, it may not include buying flowers. Beautiful music, pleasing colours, pretty things give most of us a lot of pleasure, and surrounding ourselves with these delights makes life so much more lovely.
 
Our surrounding have a powerful impact on how we relate to other things in life. So it is important to fill our surroundings with objects that lift the spirit and soothe the soul.
 
Surrounding yourself with beautiful things is an act of self-care. When you treat yourself well, you are acknowledging that how important you are. You are one of a kind and very special. Take the time and care to add more beauty to your life to give your own soul delight.

Ask yourself if your home gives you pleasure to be in? Is your bedroom an expression of your beautiful self? If not, then take the time to identify those things that need to be removed, replaced, or revitalized. Adding beauty to your surroundings it can be as simple as placing a violet on your kitchen windowsill, to as elaborate as redecorating your whole house.
 
Whatever you choose, remember that our souls are nourished by beauty, so if you want a well-nourished and satisfied soul, be sure to surround yourself with more of it.

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Recently I attended an event for women in business. It was a banquet with a cruise theme and there were more than two hundred women present. I marveled at how beautiful all the women were with their great hair, striking eyes, nice clothes, and lovely smiles.
 
We are all beautiful yet are often so hard on ourselves. When we look in a mirror, instead of seeing our own loveliness, our eyes are often drawn to every little imperfection.
 
Interesting word, isn’t it – ‘imperfection’? Who are the arbiters of perfection deciding that we are flawed, who insist that we compare and find ourselves wanting? Can we afford to have these people in the offices of advertisers dictating this much of our lives? I think not.

We need to appreciate our own bodies and ourselves. We can begin by wearing clothes that make us feel happy. Choose your style to please yourself.
 
Choose to stop living by the concept that anything old thing is good enough for you. If what you are wearing doesn’t make you feel or look fabulous, get rid of it and replace it with something that does.
 
When I shop I try to only buy things that I absolutely love. If it doesn’t make me feel great to be wearing it, I don’t want it. Imagine how delightful life is when you always feel wonderful in your clothes.

Take good care of yourself. Love your beautiful and wonderfully made body. Eat great, healthy food. Get the junk out of your diet. You want your body to last a long time so it is important to look after it well. Beauty is not just about your outside appearance. It is also about the inner workings of the beautifully crafted body that you live in.
 
The images of beauty that the media presents to us are just that–images. Often those images have been so digitally changed that there is no way that figure exists in real life.
 
We should never consider a fashion model a role model for physical beauty. We need to look at our own beauty and appreciate it. Do you have kind eyes, nice hair, strong hands, a smooth walk, or great taste in clothes?

Does your body come through for you when you need to climb stairs, cook a meal, or swim a length of the neighbourhood pool? When you dress up for an evening out, admit it, you look lovely. When you step from the shower and towel dry, look at that woman in the mirror and tell her she is beautiful, because it is true.
 
Know that you are beautiful in whatever shape or size or form you come in. Know that you are beautiful because God created you and sees you as beautiful.

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Several years ago while travelling in France, staying at hole-in-the-wall hotels and eating at small cafes, I had breakfast at a tiny bakery with a few wooden tables. The morning sunlight streamed through the windowpanes onto the tiled floor as a round woman with smiling eyes served miniature cups of espresso and pain chocolat (pronounced pan shocolah). Similar to a croissant but with layers of rich dark chocolate rolled in swirls of buttery warm bread, eating a pain chocolat for breakfast is like starting the day with a little bit of heaven.
 
The French are famous for their joie de vivre, but you don’t have to live in France to indulge in wonderful treats for breakfast or anytime. Living with lusciousness means choosing to include sensual delights as often as you can and not settling for less than the best of what you want.

Try this: Go to a chocolate boutique and buy yourself some fabulous truffles, one or two for each day of the week. If you can make them last all week, good for you. If you can’t, just buy enough to give yourself a happy, sensuous moment of bliss. Then go back another day and do it again. It won’t be enough to blow your diet, just enough to give you a treat. Even if you do not live near a great chocolate boutique, you can buy really fine chocolate at your grocery store.
 
The main point here is, take the time to include those small things that make your life more pleasant. If it is harmless, painless, and won’t break your budget then go ahead and add to your life those experiences that make it better, more fun or just more luscious.

You can apply this delicious concept to anything that gives you a morsel of delight in your day. Take time to give yourself luscious little treats. Don’t postpone living. Try taking a bubble bath in the afternoon or have your morning coffee before anyone else in the house is up so you can savour the silence. Use your favourite coffee cup. Buy yourself flowers.
 
We must treat ourselves kindly and well and we must also treat ourselves to luscious moments, morsels and delights. These self-loving gifts are the materials of everyday sweetness.

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I have a friend who claims she hates change. She balks at the possibility of change and even at new opportunities, because they may require change in her life. When confronted by a new idea, her first reaction is usually, ‘Hold on a minute. What if…?”
 
It took me a while to recognize, but I believe the reason for this reluctance to change is that the first things my friend sees are all the possible negative consequences. These terrible outcomes loom so large, that she can see little else. Then she makes her decision based on what she fears. In essence, she says, “What if these things I fear turn out to be true? If they do, then I don’t want to go there. I’m afraid.” Even though she denies that her reasons are based in fear, in fact, fear is her strongest motivator.
 
Amazingly, many of the difficulties we experience in life stem from our fears. Think about it. If I’m resisting something that I know I should do, or want to do, or I even believe will be good for me, I can be sure that there is probably some kind of fear hiding behind that resistance.

Take a closer look at such habits as self-sabotage and procrastination. Neither of these serve us, so why do we continue to indulge in them? Probably because we are afraid something bad will happen. Without analyzing why we hesitate, we worry, we fret, and we put off taking action.
 
Do you have areas in your life where you feel stuck? Is there something you need to change? If you feel that you come up against a wall every time you try to make a move, or even think about a proposed change, then take a look and see if there is a fear behind it. And don’t be fooled. Fear masquerades in many disguises, such as these:

• I don’t feel like it right now. I’ll think about that later. (Because I’m afraid to confront it.)
• This is just what I’m like. I can’t help it. (I am afraid to admit I fear it.)
• I’m not smart enough. I’ll let someone else handle it. (I’m afraid I will fail.)
• I’d have to learn something new and I don’t have time right now. (I am afraid I will fail so I’ll hide behind busyness.)
• That would be embarrassing. (I fear others’ opinions of me.)
• I can do without it for now. (It’s easier to do without than confront my fear.) 
  

Take a moment to follow the trail to the fears that may lurk behind these and other common excuses and you will find that they are nothing more than lies. Identify and confront the lies that are stopping you in your tracks and look past those fears that pop up automatically when you face something new. Once you’ve identified those fear-lies, then turn them over and look at the other side. You may find the truth was there all the time, just waiting to be recognized.
 
Rather than listening to the fears and concluding the worst, why not try asking yourself instead, “What if it turned out differently? What if these good things happen?” Then list them. This view changes everything. By seeing the positive side, we can clearly make a balanced decision or take action.
 
For example, “What if I mess this up?” when flipped over becomes, “What if I do really well?”.
 
“What if everyone laughs at me?” becomes, “What if everyone cheers for me?”

“What if my work is no good?” becomes, “What if my work is great?” or even,
“What if only a few like it, but I derive great enjoyment out of creating it?”
 
Find an appropriate positive thought, statement or truth to counter the negative one and next time that little fear comes up, confront it with its opposite. Keep on doing this until the fear gives up and slinks away in defeat. It will, you know, and you’ll be the winner for your efforts.
 
It is considered common knowledge that people fear and resist change. Not true. What people really fear is that change will bring negative consequences. If what you plan will make you happy, you don’t fear change at all, do you?
 
Change is not scary when you plan for positive outcomes. I encourage you to switch from listening to your fears to expecting the best. I think you will be pleasantly surprised by how much easier it becomes to make decisions and how much more fun your life will be.
 
Being fearless is a wonderful way to live.

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When I set out to create a daily journal I thought it would be easy. I’d sit down each morning at my computer and dash off a note about whatever was happening with me, and hope that there is someone out in computer land who finds it and finds it useful or interesting.
 
As with many things, the doing has been more challenging than I expected. I imagine that this is a metaphor for most of our lives. I want to spend quiet time each day, stopping the busyness, and hushing the whirr of demands, but day after day goes by and that time doesn’t happen.
 
The mornings begin with the telephone ringing or a deadline looming. The others in the house demand attention or there is a plan to go somewhere, and that sweet silent morning break gets pushed aside for the noisier demands of the day.

So how do we manage to take the time we need to be quiet, to really relax, to pray or meditate, or to just read or write for a few minutes?

Obviously, I’m no authority on this or I would be doing it everyday. I have no children at home, no dog, no job to rush off to by a certain time (for which I thank God—the job, not the kids or dog). But I do run a business, and sometimes that can be more demanding than all the others put together.

So here is what I do when my brain is so full and so busy that I am beginning to feel fractured and scattered in a hundred places. Around four o’clock in the afternoon, just when I start to feel draggy and a bit hungry, I stop what I’m doing and make myself a cup of tea. Then I take it to the wicker settee in the corner of my living room, under the palm tree.

Sometimes I read a book for a while, and sometimes I just look out the window and think. Sometimes I write in my journal or pray, talking to God about my day, my plans, or my frustrations, or about my friends and family who need help just now.
 
This bit of time, perhaps twenty minutes or a half hour, calms my soul again. For a little while I can put aside the demands of business and maintaining daily life and rise above the din of it all. Those minutes help me be clear about what I am doing and why I am doing it.

So now, I am trying to take a few minutes in the morning before I launch into my busy day, to write something down. My hope is that what I write will touch someone who needs to read it, at the moment she needs to read it; that my experiences and how I deal with issues in my life will resonate with someone who needs to know that she is not the only one struggling.

I know I’m not the only one who has trouble finding a quiet space in my days to just be still for a few minutes, to collect my scattered thoughts and to sit in silence even listening to my own heartbeat. But I encourage you, like me, to keep trying to find those minutes. Those times of peace hold our lives together.

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