Is Your Life on Hold?

Have you ever sat on the phone with tech support? I have and it can take a long time. I think of things I could be doing instead, like living my life.

Do have areas of your life that are “on hold”?

Are you waiting for the perfect mate to come along, or for the one you have to treat you better? Are you waiting on the motivation to get your home organized? Are you waiting for a great job or another client to fall into your lap? Are you waiting to win the lottery to plan your retirement?

Stop waiting on your life! The only difference between the people who are getting what they want and those who don’t is that some kept moving and others didn’t. Here are some ideas to help you get back on track again.

Focus on the who, not the what

If you find that you’ve been stuck in a goal for a while, try restating it in “who am I” terms instead of “what I want” terms. For example, instead of saying “I want to lose 30 lbs.”, say “I am someone who takes care of herself by keeping my weight around XXX which is a healthy range for my height and age.” Be as specific as possible. Notice that “I want to be someone who helps others” could mean anything from a clerk in the grocery store to a heart surgeon. Focus on who you want to be. Then ask yourself what actions would fit with your desire “to be” instead of “get”.

Analyze it

Did you know that 80% of your problems come from 20% of your life? Think about that. Determine what that 20% is that’s affecting so much of your life, and start working to make it happier, more efficient, more satisfying.

A big trap that many of us fall into is not assigning a true value to our time, to our energy, to our money, and to the “real estate” (space) of our homes or offices. Realize that for each thing you say Yes to—from a pair of shoes to watching a movie—you have said No to something else. Always ask yourself—is this *valuable* enough to me to crowd my life with, or even to bump something else from my closet, my schedule, my money?

Establish routines

I know you have “pizza night” so why not “bills night” or “clean your room night” as well? Like the pizza night, routines show up in all kinds of ways in your life. While they sound boring and confining, routines are actually freeing. The same way you don’t have to think about dinner on pizza night, instead of being worried and anxious on Monday morning wondering if you remembered to pay the car insurance, you’ll feel calm knowing that you always go to the bank on Friday afternoon and pay bills on Wednesday evening. Routines take the stress out.

Accept Controllability

We’ve all heard about deniability from political spin-doctors. I’d like to introduce the concept of “controllability” in your daily life. Only spend time and energy on what you can control. For example, you can’t control world politics, but you can vote. You can’t control the weather, but you can be prepared for it in your own home and schedule. You can’t control the construction crews on the highway, but you can control how much time you allot for a trip. Knowing what you can control and exercising that, and letting go of what you can’t, puts you in the driver’s seat of your life.

Feeling good about yourself will come naturally when you stop waiting and start creating the life you really want to live. Stress and frustration will be reduced as you make choices instead of being pushed around. You’ll experience a higher sense of self-acceptance, and changing your life for the better will become easier and easier.